The Hundred Dollar Question
by capricorn66
Summary: "Why do ya speak in third person?" That was the million dollar question. Actually it was more of a hundred dollar question. She could have asked worse. My twist on a, most likely, common question. Slight AU probably. Gets a bit off topic at parts.


**A/N: So I don't really know why I typed this up. Whatever.**

**Warning: Mild language maybe? I also messed up some of the characters. There's also a ton of screwed up accents.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize...And a few things you don't.**

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><p>It was like any other day at the Xavier Institute.<p>

Scratch that… It was an interesting day at the Xavier Institute.

Then again, every day there probably qualifies as one form of interesting or another.

It was a perfect blend of a normal and interesting day at the Xavier Institute. The students woke up, ate breakfast, went to school, had a danger room session… Normal. What made this particular day interesting was the fact that after said danger room session, when the team decided to lounge in the rec room (some of them with ice packs on their heads or sore muscles) the newly joined resident Cajun and the fiery southern Goth weren't in the middle of a battle of wits. They were actually holding up a decent conversation and Rogue _wasn't_ seething yet. It was interesting.

Suffice to say, it soon gathered the interest of the others in the room. What topic could be so interesting that Remy wasn't making inappropriate references and Rogue wasn't threatening him?

"C'mon! Ya can tell me!" Rogue was pleading once the last of the very obvious eavesdroppers tuned in.

"_Oui_, Remy could…but…_non_. He's not goin' t'," the Cajun replied coolly.

"Ya just did that on purpose!" now Rogue was showing signs of her regular anger toward the Cajun. The eavesdroppers were already too into the conversation to care that things were back to normal, they now wanted to know what Rogue wanted to know.

"_Oui_," Gambit smirked, "Remy did dat on purpose,"

"Ugh! Please! Just tell me!"

"But _chere_, where's de fun in dat?"

"Excuse me!" Kurt piped up from where he was sitting with an ice pack on his head.

"What?" Rogue snapped, glaring at Remy.

"I am just being curious, but vat is it you vant to know _meine schwester_?"the blue elf was honestly curious. He didn't like not knowing what was going on and figured it'd be easier to find out by asking than listening in…although, by the glares he received, clearly everyone else felt differently. Even Scott was giving him a glare from underneath his sunglasses. Although he couldn't see it, Kurt knew.

"Ah'm tryin' ta get this here Swamp Rat ta tell me why he speaks in third person," Rogue explained to the crowd of onlookers.

"Yeah, like, I've been wondering the same thing," Kitty said with an enthusiastic nod. Everyone else then spoke up there curiosity as well.

With a triumphant smile, Rogue turned back to Remy, "It's everyone against ya, sugah," the southern belle said, "So tell us, why do ya speak in third person?"

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><p>"So tell us, why do ya speak in third person?"<p>

Remy sighed. That was the million dollar question.

Actually it was more of a hundred dollar question. She could have asked worse…Like if he'd ever killed someone. Or if he'd ever been engaged. Or, possibly the worst question imaginable, if he'd ever blown up a card in his face. Luckily for Remy, Petey knew how to keep a secret. Right?

Thinking back on it ("it" being him speaking third person), Remy realized it all started with Angelica Ludwig. Angelica Ludwig was like the forbidden fruit in New Orleans. She was the first to develop fully. And develop she did. Looking at Rogue, Remy realized that Angelica would probably be a threat to her (which was unheard of in his books). Angelica Ludwig with her flowing strawberry blonde hair and her perfectly shaped body. Angelica Ludwig with her extremely tight skinny jeans and her luscious red lips. Angelica Ludwig with her over protective police chief father who disapproved of her having any relationships until she was eighteen.

Of course when Remy first saw Angelica Ludwig, and vice versa, he was arguing with his adoptive brother Henri. Remy was fourteen at the time and had yet to blow up his first playing card but he did still have the issue with his eyes and was wearing sunglasses. Angelica was sixteen and the first girl Remy had spoken to who wasn't family or a freaking psychotic blonde assassin. Actually, when he met Angelica he and Belle were best friends…but that's beside the point.

When they met, Henri was at the point in the argument when he just ignored the problem, a.k.a. Remy. Remy didn't like that one bit. Thinking about it, Remy remembered everything very clearly.

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><p><em>"Henri! Yoohoo! Down here!" Remy waved his hands wildly trying to get his brother to slip up and say something. Having not yet reached his growth spurt, Remy was still shorter than his older brother. "Henri, I don't care if y' don't want t' talk t' me, just give moi Tante's present! I want t' see it!" he was met with the cold shoulder as the older man continued walking. "Henri I want t' see it! Don't make moi steal it from y'!" the young Remy threatened.<em>

_Henri, being the immature man he was, decided to play his own card, "Hmm I t'ink I be hearin' voices," he cleaned out his ears with his fingers for an added affect._

_"Really Henri?" Remy raised an eyebrow, "Aren't y' a bit too old for dat?"_

_"Dere be dat voice 'gain…"_

_"Well Henri, if you'd look RIGHT IN FRONT O' Y' you'd see moi!" Remy hated this game. It irritated him to no end when someone acknowledged his presence but didn't at the same time. If that makes sense._

_"Really? Who be in front o' me? I don't see nobody," Henri said, squinting his eyes in an attempt to "see" the person talking._

_"Moi! Remy Lebeau. I happen t' be your petit frère," _

_"'M sorry, who?"_

_"REMY!" the young teen shouted receiving a few curious glances, "And Remy would like t' see de gift dat he picked out fo' his Tante Mattie, if you'd let him,"_

_"Remy…Remy…I don't t'ink I know a Remy," Henri pondered receiving a glare from his younger brother._

_"Well," Remy said, slightly happy that he was getting somewhere with Henri…maybe if he kept it up Henri would show him the gift, "Remy seems t' know y' and he knows all 'bout dat collection o' Playboy magazines in y' room. Remy t'inks dat Merci would be very interested in dat bit o' information, non?" _

_Remy watched in glee as the color drained from Henri's face. He should have played that card sooner, maybe then he wouldn't have had to make a fool of himself by talking like an idiot. "Awright Remy. Y' win! I'll give it t' y' once we reach de car, hein?"_

_"Oui, Remy agrees t' dat," Remy said happily. He was about to say something regularly when someone tapped his shoulder. Turning around Remy came face to face with the most beautiful fille he'd ever laid eyes on. She was about his height but had an older look to her. More mature._

_"Excuse me," she said, her voice sounding like tinkling bells to the hormonal teen, "Do you regularly talk like that?" Remy was about to deny it profusely when the girl continued, "Because I think it's about the hottest thing ever. I've lived here in New Orleans for the past five years and have heard all kinds of accents, but not once have I heard that one and it is by far the best one."_

_Gaping, Remy had no clue what to say. Did the gorgeous fille say what he thought she said? Turning to Henri, Remy could see he was thinking the same thing. Oblivious, the girl spoke up again, "I'm Angelica Ludwig. I'm a sophomore at the high school just down the road… I don't think I've seen you before, are you home schooled?"_

_"Um…Oui, y' could say dat," Remy said, still trying to figure out why she thought guys talking in third person was hot._

_"So, I take it your name's Remy? That's a cute name. How old are you? You look around my age. Would you like to hang out this afternoon?" Angelica asked._

_Finally out of his shocked stupor Remy gave a Cheshire grin, "Oui, Remy would love t' hang out wit' y'. Is dat awright wit' y' Henri?"_

_Still looking stupefied, Henri nodded, "Um Oui, sure, go 'head. See y' later den," he said quietly as he turned and walked off._

_"Is that your brother?" Angelica asked once they were alone._

_"Oui," Remy nodded._

_"Oh… Well he's a bit strange,"_

_Remy smirked, "Y' have no idea,"_

_Bursting through the doors of the Lebeau mansion at around nine o' clock, fourteen year old Remy was met by Jean-Luc sitting in the living room. "Where y' been Remy?" Jean-Luc asked curiously. He didn't sound angry that his son had missed dinner, but then again, there was a newspaper covering his face._

_"Out wit' Angelica. Man, dat fille can kiss," Remy said wistfully, "Remy was de first guy she kissed too,"_

_Jean-Luc put down the paper. Remy gulped, he looked angry. Raising an eyebrow Jean-Luc asked, "Remy? Is dere a reason y' speakin' in t'ird person?"_

_Flushing slightly in embarrassment Remy said, "Oui. Angelica said dat it was 'hot' so Remy's been doin' it all day. Hard t' stop,"_

_More amused now than angry, Jean-Luc smiled, "Y' t'ink anyone else t'inks dat?"_

_"Oui! Remy, uh...I be an attractive young man. Filles like moi whet'er Remy speaks first or t'ird person or not,"_

_"I t'ink dat y' got your tongue in a knot boy. Y' be all over de place wit' de 'I' and de 'Remy' pick one or de ot'er. It be confusin' t' people listenin',"_

_"Désolé père,"_

_"So, which one y' gonna be boy? I or Remy?"_

_"Guess we goin' t' find out, non?" Remy smiled cheekily as he walked towards his room. The night was young; he could still get some thieving in._

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><p>Remy almost chuckled out loud at the memory. Angelica had unwittingly disobeyed her father's rules and made out with a boy two years younger than her who would eventually prove to be the bane of her father's existence. Poor Angelica didn't realize she was kissing the future Prince of Thieves. She also didn't realize that she helped create a little womanizing monster.<p>

Third person was a way for him to pick up girls, however insane it may sound.

Then again, it wasn't entirely Angelica's fault. He was starting to speak normally again when his powers came and he became even more involved in the thieving business. It was around that time when he started to catch onto Jean-Luc's stupid selfishness and abusing of his adopted son's powers. Remy then began to realize that he was two completely different people, not like he'd tell the others that.

Remy was the boy with the angst filled past. He was the boy who understood others and joked around with them. He was the boy who was willing to put his life on the line for people he cared about. He was the boy who, despite everything, wanted to turn his life around. Remy was the one who joined the X-Men. Remy was the one who fell for Rogue.

Gambit was the man who gambled, cheated, and stole. He was selfish and flirtatious. He enjoyed drinking and smoking. Gambit was immature and liked to edge people on. He was the one who loved money more than anything else. Gambit was the one who joined the Acolytes. Gambit was the one who nearly blew off his _chere's_ hand.

Thinking back on it, Remy realized that maybe he really began his third person speech the day Gambit and Remy clashed. The day he ditched the Guild and all it stood for. The day he left New Orleans.

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><p><em>"Y' want moi t' WHAT?" Remy's shout could be heard all the way through the Lebeau mansion.<em>

_"Don't blow dis out o' proportion Remy. Y' can do it. Wit' your power all y' got t' do is touch de Rippers' place and blow it sky high," Jean-Luc reassured the seventeen year old across from him, "It just takes un little tap and den your done,"_

_"Non! Do y' even know how many people dere be in dat place? How many I'd be killin'?" Remy argued. Jean-Luc only narrowed his eyes._

_"It's not like y' haven't killed wit' your powers before,"_

_"Go t' hell!" Remy practically screamed at being reminded of the incident._

_Jean-Luc sighed, "Listen Remy," the older man said, "T'ink 'bout dis reasonably. Wit'out de Rippers, dere'd be endless space fo' us t' go t'ievin'. No treaties and laws seperatin' up N'awlins 'mongst de deux Guilds. T'ink 'bout all o' de extra money,"_

_Gambit was tempted. Oh, was he tempted. That's what scared Remy. He was scared that he'd actually do it. He needed to dissuade Jean-Luc, and then everything would go back to normal…probably. "But père," Remy tried, "De Rippers, dey be assassins. Trained, professional assassins-" Jean-Luc then cut him off._

_"But y' be our best t'ief. Y' won't get caught. And if dere's no assassins left, dat means dere's no Bella and therefore no marriage. Your options are eit'er kill de assassins or marry Bella next year,"_

_That did it for Remy and Gambit. Jean-Luc was giving him options? Both Remy and Gambit were thoroughly pissed off that the man who'd been his father for who knows how long was giving him options. Whatever happened to the Jean-Luc who said "Y' don't have t' if y' don't want t' Remy"? _

_Jean-Luc shifted a bit uneasily under Remy's glare. It'd been a few minutes since anything was said but the whole time Remy's red on black eyes were practically glowing with rage that was all directed at the man in front of him. Suddenly Remy's eyes lost their anger and he put on a smile._

_"Y' know père," the word was said with an edge of disgust to it, "Y' really had Remy goin' dere fo' a second. 'Remy I want y' t' be in ma famille. Y' will be mon fils, just like Henri. How does dat sound?' Poor, little, foolish Remy. He t'ought dat he had a family. De only t'ing he wanted. But, now Gambit realizes somet'ing," Jean-Luc winced when Remy said Gambit, he usually only referred to himself as such when he was on a heist or talking to an enemy like Julien, "Gambit realizes dat de only reason y' wanted little Remy in y' family was cuz o' his eyes. Le diable blanc. A future mutant. Y' knew dat Remy would get de powers, y' knew dat if he t'ought of y' as family he'd use dem t' your advantage, and y' knew dat Remy would agree t' join y' family cuz all he wanted was a famille. Gambit ain't as friendly as Remy. Gambit ain't as stupid. Gambit leads wit' his head and not his heart. Y' taught him dat. 'On a heist,' y' said, 'y' need t' get rid o' your emotion or you'll let it take advantage o' y' and dat gets y' caught.' 'Member dat Jean-Luc? Gambit does and he's got it etched int' his brain fo' all eternity. So here's what Gambit's goin' t' do now," Gambit said, still smiling and talking as if to a good friend, as if there was no tension at all, "Gambit's goin' t' walk out o' dis here door," he nodded towards the door, "He's goin' t' get on his bike and leave. When he gets back, y' better have somethin' t' say dat don't involve Guild business," Gambit turned and started to walk away._

_"Remy wait!" Jean-Luc called from the desk he'd been sitting at._

_Sighing, Remy turned around, "Oui?"_

_"Y' are goin' t' be punished fo' dat little speech o' yours," Jean-Luc said professionally, "It'll be decided when y' come back. Y' lucky dat I'm lettin' y' leave at all Remy," _

_Gambit had had it, walking forward Gambit placed a hand on the desk, charging it. He watched as Jean-Luc's eyes widened in fear, "Y' wanted t' make Gambit an assassin. Y' can be his first victim, oui? Alls he has t' do is let go,"_

_"Y' wouldn't. Y' would blow up aussi,"_

_Leaning forward Gambit smirked evilly, "Gambit's got not'in t' lose. 'Member? No emotions. Bein' 'fraid t' blow up be a fear. Fear's an emotion. Keep in mind dat y' created Gambit. Y' caused dis," Remy pulled back the charge, "Y' didn't create Remy t'ough. Remy does have stuff t' lose. Gambit suggest y' leave him alone now," turning to leave, Gambit walked straight into two of the bigger men working for Jean-Luc._

_"Désolé Remy, mais y' leave moi no choice. Maybe lockin' y' up fo' a while will make y' see straight 'gain," Jean-Luc said, holding up the button that had summoned the two big men.._

_Remy turned his head and stared coldly at Jean-Luc, "It be Gambit t' y' and he ain't goin' nowhere y' want him t' be," quicker than the eye could see, Gambit pulled out some cards from one of his trench coat's pockets and threw them throughout the room. While the men took cover Remy ran out of the room only to run into a concerned Henri._

_"What's goin' on? I heard explosions and- Remy?" Henri looked around but his petit frère was nowhere in sight. Seconds later, the sound of a motorcycle engine cut through the mansion like a knife. The Prince of Thieves was gone, and judging by the damage done to Jean-Luc's office, he had no intention of coming back._

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><p>That particular memory always pissed Remy off. Jean-Luc was an imbecile. Heck, even after he'd saved the patriarch of the Thieves Guild's ass (with Rogue's help) all he'd gotten was a lecture of had he done what he was ordered earlier none of that would have happened. Screw him… No, he'd be lucky if that happened.<p>

Third person helps Remy separate himself from the man Jean-Luc created.

Maybe that's why he likes Rogue. She has a more split personality that Remy himself.

"Hey! Earth to, like, Remy! Come in!" Remy heard Kitty calling…Must have zoned out. Woops.

"Désolé _chaton_. Remy just zoned out fo' a bit," Remy apologized.

"Like, no big deal," she giggled.

"Ahem. Swamp rat, ya still have ta answer tha question," Rogue pointed out.

"Right. _Désolé_…What was de question?"

"Why do ya speak in third person?" she asked exasperated. Remy just smiled. He already knew his answer.

"_Je ne said pas_. No reason really. Remy just does,"

After all, he _was_ Remy now. Sure, there was a time when Remy was gone and all that was left was Gambit. During that time he believed there was nothing good left in him…Then he met Rogue. So maybe he'd tried to blow up the girl's hand at the time but he knew she was special. One trip down south later, he knew it was true.

_"Ya just did tha wrong thing or tha raght reason,"_

After all, that's just what Remy does.

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><p><strong>AN: So Remy's a bit OOC. No flames please, unless they're helpful. So constructive critisism is allowed. **

**Once again, this was really a pointless fic I just felt like writing for some reason, although I didn't include everything I wanted. C'est la vie.**

**Review please and maybe you'll get a free...**


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